this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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