You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
