You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
