batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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