Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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