No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
