We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He shit in the fireplace
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
