Plan B is the new Plan A
bring money and cleavage
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
