help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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