i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
