Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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