i was born a porn star she said
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
