1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
