it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
