Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
