A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
