CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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