she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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