Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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