So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
