DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
