I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
