So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she smelled like a LAN party
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
