He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
