Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
