i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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