I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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