They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize