the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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