I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
