You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
