C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So squirting runs in the family.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
