Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
