I'm laying in your front yard are you home
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
