Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize