Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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