I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
