peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she told me i tasted like america
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
