I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Did I show you my penis last night?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
