I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
