Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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