I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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