barbara walters just said penis...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
is that a dick in a sweater?
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