I wish life had little blips of pornography
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
