My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
