I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
