haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
