Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize