you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Too much gin, very little bucket
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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