roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
