the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
