I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize