he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
