Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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