you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
