So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
