I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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